Waking Up

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The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Psalm 111:10). This fear descends on us from on High. It is a spiritual feeling, firstly of God and then of us ourselves. We live in a state of awe by virtue of the presence of the Living God together with awareness of our own impurity. This fear places us before the Face of God to be judged by Him. We have fallen so low that our distress over ourselves turns into profound suffering, more painful than the torments of seeing ourselves in the darkness of ignorance, in the paralysis of non-feeling, in slavery to the passions. The dread is our awakening from the age-old sleep in sin. It brings us the light of perception – on the one hand, of our fatal condition and, on the other, of the holiness of God. It is an astonishing phenomenon – without its naturally purificative action the way to perfect love of God will not be opened to us. It is not only ‘the beginning of wisdom’ but of love, too. It will also alarm our soul with a revelation of ourselves, as we are, and bind us to God in longing to be with Him.

From We Shall See Him As He Is by the Elder Sophrony.

I remember the intense joy of waking up on Christmas morning as a child. The anticipation of the surprise to come was overwhelming. My father could be quite creative when my older brother and I were very young. I recall that my brother had once asked for a “stalk of Bananas,” something we had only seen in books. That my father actually found one and had it under the tree was beyond belief that Christmas Day. Every house in the neighborhood had a share in that surplus!

As years have gone by, waking up has taken on many different and more profound meanings – and increasing difficulty. The sleep that a child tosses aside so easily in anticipation of the joy that awaits him is a very light blanket indeed compared to the heaviness of delusion in which we so easily rest in later years.

Orthodox theology rests, finally, in the utter certainty of the knowledge of God. We do not simply speak about God – we know Him. Anything less than such a knowledge would be an emptiness and speculation. No dogma is secure if it rests merely on bald assertion.

It is for this same reason that perhaps the most important spiritual discipline in the Orthodox life is to be freed from delusion. If you read the Philokalia, or, better yet, Branchaninov’s The Arena, you will hear the repeated chorus of warnings against spiritual delusion. It matters because there is such a thing as being awake and not being deluded.

None of us lives free from all delusion – none other than perhaps the greatest saints. But the process of awakening is itself the beginning of the spiritual life. It is the fear of God in the sense used by Fr. Sophrony and in the Scriptures that marks that awakening. Indeed, it begins with believing that there actually is a God, which strangely, is far less common than you would think.

The entrance of Christ into the world on that first Christmas morning was also an awakening. Mary was awake and understood what it meant to be the handmaiden of the Lord. Joseph, that good man, was awake and understood what it meant to act in obedience. The wise men were awake and found the Daystar from on High. The Shepherds were awake and heard the night sing.

But Herod slept, and doubtless dreamed. The soldiers who kept his orders slept with the peace that comes from a mission accomplished. The better part of the whole world slept, though there were some, like watchful children, who knew that joy was coming. The lightest footfall will arouse such sleepers.

Awake, O Sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.

7 Responses to “Waking Up”

  1. fatherstephen Says:

    The picture is of the peaks known as the “Patriarchs” in Zion National Park. Originally named by a Methodist explorer, they are “Abraham,” “Isaac,” and “Jacob.” Three men who came to be awake before God.

  2. Steve Says:

    Lord, I find my sobriety in You, help me to stay awake and of the day.

  3. Athanasia Says:

    I have just ordered this book and look forward to reading the riches it contains. Thank you for sharing this.

  4. sage Says:

    Your words are profound and true…thank you for sharing. I am delighted that I found your blog, I shall return.

    blessings,
    sage

  5. Michael Liccione Says:

    Fr. Stephen:

    I’m curious why you say that believing there is a God is “far less common than you would think.” Theoretical atheism is a distinctly minority view; I presume you mean practical atheism: living as though God didn’t matter.

    Best,
    Mike

  6. Fatherstephen Says:

    Yes, Michael. Practical atheism, living as though God did not matter is much the same thing as not believing. Mere intellectual assent is nothing. The demons believe and tremble – to quote scripture. In fact, I do not think many people believe in God and that those who do have a hard time of it. Belief is difficult.

  7. Hoping to sleep lightly « OrthoPraxis Says:

    […] In light of Fr. Stephen’s wonderful post entitled “Waking Up”, I just wanted to say that I hope my sleep is light at this joyous qand most momentous time of year. Ever since I saw the first Matrix movie, I have realized that we are all , to some degree, asleep. That has been reinforced to me a great deal in Holy Orthodoxy. Our challenge is to be present at all times, though I admit I rarely am. This is one of the many things I need to work on, or should I say allow Christ to work out in me. I go through more of my life asleep than I do awake I’m affraid, but I’m determined to be present as we celebrate the Blessed Nativity of Christ. I hope to join company with the angels, shepherds and Maji and not content to sleep as were Herod and his soldiers. Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. […]

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